in my time of constant sin
i bummed it home for a fun’ral
hanging from a hip of gin
i jumped a boxcar, 6am
not long ’til that flask’s gone
i was stumblin’ when i stumbled upon
my late paw and my kin
they said “hey young man
you goin’ end up dead
iffen you can’t clear your head.
get outta here, and don’t touch no beer
go drink some coffee instead.”

so i bought another bottle, and i walked downtown
thinkin’ of somethin’ to say
bout my dead ol’ paw, never broke the law
so long as drinkin’ and fightin’s okay.

Went to the shrink ‘fore the ceremony
to get straight on hypnosis
said “hey doc brown, can you fix my frown
and cure my thirsty fits?”
Doc brown say “hey, come back some other day
you’ll need a better man than I.
i’m singing the blues that that’re singing you
and i got the alcohol, too”

so i bought another bottle, and i walked to the church
thinkin’ of somethin’ to say
bout my dead ol’ paw, never broke the law
so long as drinkin’ and fightin’s okay.

when I got to the church, i found the priest
pourin’ the blood of christ
said “hey Father Lou, got a question for you:
my soul’s about to burst”
Father Lou went “come, what is it, my son?”
so i threw up on his shirt
he said, “oh no! my robes!” and i bolted, ho!
and I stole his wine, so he cursed

so i popped the father’s bottle, and i went to the hearse
thinkin’ of somethin’ to say
bout my dead ol paw, never broke the law
so long as drinkin’ and fightin’s okay.

well I found my paw laid on the straw
wearing a suit and a tie
i felt no remorse, no guilt nor recourse
told him, “it’s better to die.”

so i drained the blood of christ and i went to the lake
the sun was shining high
o’er the cliff, o’er the outlook: below life forsook
i swear my time was nigh
i stared at the sky and the birds flying by,
then i heard momma cry:
“come join the potluck; no use just to be drunk
when there’s potatoes to fry.”

so i raised an empty glass to my paw who had passed
and said “there’s nothing to say
bout my dead ol’ paw, never broke the law
s’long as drinkin’ and fightin’s okay.”

To your riverboat ferry across the blue desert of your ever rushing pool,
Where loose boats sleepwalk like mad, daydreaming in torrents unkind,
Spinning in a great flourish of metal and engine,
Yearning towards the edge of your infinite west.

To your schools of barges wandering home for the holidays,
Meat-packed produce bearing propellers of a wet economy,
A pier-side adventure of immaculate shrimps and oyster bars like heaven–
A fount of delicious beauty.

Your vast tear has me clueless and wandering New Orleans a lost shadow.
I want to grow big and strong like the boats that you crush beneath your little toe.
One day, in Minnesota, where you are so young, I will bound across your infant stony trickle.
And having conquered a mountain I will weep in joy of your perfection and your quiet love.

I went skiing cross country in flannel pajamas.

I wore a new suit under the covers.

I put cookie dough ice cream in my coffee.

I have a thing for nonplus additions.

I daydreamed about soaring again.

I wasn’t alone.

I wondered: how to talk about what I want?

I throw macaroni against the cupboard, hoping spaghetti sticks.

I want to be loved like a new lover, not another lover.

But mostly I’m happy to love.

Gerald
NW WASH, DC

W ELLIS MITCHELL
Vancouver, BC

Or somewhere, N.A.
Or 1968 and Frisco, CA

Or at a corporate convention, stumbling in French
Amoung the easterners
Over Starbucks

Or Canadian sex–like Molson or Labatt’s

Or wandering down climbed mountains
On skis
Like freedom
Or heresy

And high

Or writing half-thoughts or whole novels in little black books
To show off to no one or this or that girl
Behind the visitors center, the only place for blind kisses
Because it’s tourism

Or scavenging in Safeway
Or conversing in Spanish
For hours
Because you found one Españolhablante
A man with a dark moustache
And a daughter
And a week’s paid vacation spent talking
Around gringos
Or just Canadians

Or gazing on northern lights
How did you get so far from the city?
Pinks and greens of smoke trails across the heavens
I know why you want to cast your wristwatch off the edge of the world
And float up as an infant
Inhaling the cool aurora borealis
While the moon looks west
In mourning
Or to hide tears of joy

Or you’re awake, still,
At dawn
Looking east
You raise your Nalgene flask to the clouds
To the snow, to the outdoors, to jealous loafers, to loved lovers, to the forgotten gray
To say “wish you were here”
To somebody

Almost like me.